By Carl Mohrbacher

I was just thinking to myself, “Self, we’ve had some tough losses in recent years, but it’s been awhile since we’ve had a totally unmitigated shit show.”
(Shrugs shoulders, grabs chicken wings, takes swig directly from box of wine and begins watching Bears vs. Bucs)
“The Bears are back, baby!” (chomp, chomp, glug, glug) “Jay Cutler is playing it smart, the running game is finally a legit threat and the defense is nearing full strength. It’s time to run the table! Playoffs, here we come!!! PA POW!!!!”

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Posted on November 17, 2016

By Eric Emery

A month ago, I asked you to “imagine, for a moment, that a person exists at the intersection of Venn diagrams Trump Hater, Chicago Bears Fan Troll, and AFC Bournemouth Supporter. That person just had a pretty damn good week.
Of course that was me.
But now, imagine that a person exists at the intersection of Venn diagrams Trump Hater, AFC Bournemouth Supporter, and Leonard Cohen fan.
Of course that was me too.

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Posted on November 14, 2016

By Jim Coffman

When my son Noah and I traveled to Bradenton, Florida for a Baseball Factory event at Pirate City over the weekend, I had a chance to take a nice break from the news for about three days.
And yes, Bradenton is not far from Tampa and no we did not take in the Bears game at the end of the trip Sunday. I think we made the right call.
But when game time rolled around, we zeroed back in on the Bears and the sports world in general as we took in all the games at a local sports bar. It did not take long to wish we hadn’t.

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Posted on November 14, 2016

By Kiljoong Kim, Thomas Chambers & Steve Rhodes

Who we are. Including: Trump Ruined The Cubs’ World Series Championship; Tweeting Trump; Wait ‘Til This Year; Guaranteed Grate; and Back To Breeders’.

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Posted on November 12, 2016

By Dee Davis

Dee Davis is the founder of Center for Rural Strategies, which “seeks to improve economic and social conditions for communities in the countryside and around the world through the creative and innovative use of media and communications.” He is also on the board of directors of Media Burn, a Chicago-based video archival organization. Dee writes a weekly NFL e-mail that found its way to the Beachwood through Media Burn’s Tom Weinberg, a pal of our White Sox writer Roger Wallenstein. We thought it was worth posting, though we skipped the football picks.
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Long before Harry Caray (not his real name) was a Will Ferrell character, he was the St. Louis Cardinals’ play-by-play guy on KMOX. I hated him.
I’d listen to the games under the sheets on my transistor, rooting for no good to happen to Tim McCarver that tool or Julian Javier who never bothered anyone, but mostly to Harry Caray, the smug bastard. He was a wildly popular announcer, beer spokesman, and, not known to me, a drinking buddy and fellow womanizer with St. Louis owner Gussie Busch.

Harry was not as close to Gussie’s son and heir to the Budweiser empire, August III, but he did happen to be conspicuously friendly with August III’s young blonde wife. Shortly after taking her out for a scandalous public nibble and pawing at Tony’s fine dining, Caray was struck by a hit-and-run driver seen revving his engine in wait. Big Gussie sent Harry to Florida to recuperate on his dime in his mansion, but the III had the corporate detectives (ex-FBI) create a dossier on the announcer that finished him in St. Louis. Under actual cover of darkness Harry slipped away to Chicago where he would soon be employed by Bill Veeck, Tom Weinberg and a legion of right-sized White Sox investors.

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Posted on November 10, 2016

By Carl Mohrbacher

And so it begins – The Great Bear Tease of 2016.
Which should not be confused with the “Bear Tease 2016 New Year’s Eve Ass-travaganza” being held at Jackhammer on December 31st.
Coming into the season, many predicted that Chicago would get fat (record wise – though Mike Adams’ beard isn’t exactly slimming his face) thanks to a very weak schedule.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Let’s see, am I at 1,500 words yet?

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Posted on November 9, 2016

By Roger Wallenstein

Looking at my driver’s license at the car rental agency at the Ontario, California airport last Wednesday, the attendant quickly noted that I’m a Chicagoan. “You have to be really excited about the Cubs,” she said.
I didn’t lie. “Actually I’m a White Sox fan, but I’m very happy for my friends who are Cub fans,” I said.
Never having a soft spot for the Cubbies, I still was appreciative – and, yes, a bit envious – of my close friends who have lived and died (thankfully not literally) with their favorite baseball team. When I called one of them at midnight Wednesday to offer congratulations, no one picked up the phone. Was it too much for him? Did his 74-year-old heart fail to withstand the pressure of the 10-inning deciding game?

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Posted on November 7, 2016

By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes

Shut it down. We did it. Including: Thank God It Didn’t Get Away; Rally Caps; Kris Bryant’s Greatest (And Most Telling) Moment; Baseball’s Most Famous Rain Delay; Most Memorable Game Ever; and The Cubs ‘Mystique’ Was Real.

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Posted on November 5, 2016

By Thomas Chambers

Nobody knows streaks, mostly the bad ones, like Chicago. And, don’t we know in these parts, as you get older, you learn how to deal with them, manage expectations, if you have any, and appreciate any success that comes along. That’s the value of the streaks.
It comes to us that within the last year, two of the most monumental streaks in American sports history were broken, in smashing fashion.
Just hours ago, the Chicago Cubs did what they did. A seemingly nice bunch of people – and that’s important – who did it with such style, it seemed they turned the corner from BC to AD.

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Posted on November 4, 2016

By Marty Gangler

So, that happened.
Just so many great things on the other side of a World Series Championship. Sure, all the clichés are there. You know, about being able to die in peace and wishing grandparents and family members could see this, yada yada. Sure, those are all great, and real, but when it comes down to it, when I’m about to die I’m probably going to do my best to just not die and I may not think about the Cubs at all, you know, because I might be about to die.
I guess my point is that for the living, the coolest thing about the Cubs winning it is that I don’t have to think about next season much at all. Who they need to move, who they are going to acquire, who’s on my hate list, etc. It’s all just Cubbie Blue gravy now.
I also think Steve Garvey is probably an OK guy now; same for Will Clark. Leon “Bull” Durham was a solid defensive first baseman and they put out a lot of great music in 1969, what else happened that year? Yeah, the goats (literal and otherwise), villains, and all the ghosts of losing past are all pretty much off the hook – except maybe Dusty. And it feels like a lot of sports fan baggage has been lifted off the Cub fan’s back. All this being said, it still hasn’t truly sunk in. I’m sure it will in a little more time. And even that will be nice.

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Posted on November 3, 2016