By Carl Mohrbacher

With the momentum snatched and slated to receive the second-half kickoff, the Bears found themselves nicely positioned to break the hearts of their most Kool-Aid guzzling fans.
C’mon. Some of you were quietly rooting for Connor Barth to shank a last second kick.
Good news, everyone! It never came to that because the offense opted to hang back in the locker room after the conclusion of the second quarter, presumably to escape the Houston heat.
But look, we’re not here to talk about the past . . .

Read More

Posted on September 15, 2016

By Tom Latourette

Shout it from the rooftops!
Obstructed view rooftops!

Read More

Posted on September 14, 2016

By Eric Emery

On Labor Day, Comedy Central aired The Roast of Rob Lowe. Early on, it was pretty clear the dais, the audience, and humanity in general was more thrilled with roasting attendee Ann Coulter.
Finally, here was a chance to satirically skewer Coulter’s vile views. Alas, the other attendees devolved into a series of personal attacks and insults. Like a well-crossed pass into the six-yard box, rational thought missed the goal.
Meanwhile, I’ve found myself more publicly critical of the NFL since the start of the season. I wonder if I’m becoming the Ann Coulter of soccer fans.
So let’s combine the two to show how vile and caustic one would be if we edited Ann Coulter quotes to be unreasonably pro-soccer and anti-NFL:

Read More

Posted on September 13, 2016

By Jim Coffman

It wasn’t that bad.
I was tempted, in honor of the recently departed Cardinals and Cardinal coach Dennis Green, to go with a different lead, one that seemed apropos at least immediately following the game: The Bears are who we thought they were.
But this loss was a far piece from of a harbinger of doom – A far, far, piece. The final score was 23-14 on the road against the favorite to win the AFC South. The Texans have one of the best defenses in the league featuring, perhaps, the best pass rush. And their offense is good enough, especially if rookie wide receiver Will Fuller the Fifth (is that a first in major pro sports?) can continue to achieve the kind of separation he got all day against the Bears.

Read More

Posted on September 12, 2016

By Marty Gangler

Who’d a thunk that we would all be bored with the regular season even before the Cubs clinched the division?
It sure seems like the days off for guys and the sorta more wacky lineups than normal have come even before the games become truly meaningless.
Sure, they still seem to be trying to win of course, but geez, what is there left to talk about?
I guess you could ask Big Poppa Joe if the Cubs would be any good at football.

Read More

Posted on September 12, 2016

By Roger Wallenstein

As a fan who’s been following the White Sox for more than six decades, I’m a guy who was raised on Friendly Bob Adams and General Finance, the Hamm’s Bear from the Land of Sky Blue Waters, and White Owl Cigars, as in “That’s a White Owl wallop!”
So you can imagine my surprise at what I found when I visited the men’s room on the first-base side of the lower level along about the fourth inning of the Labor Day match-up between Chris Sale and the Tigers’ Justin Verlander.

Read More

Posted on September 12, 2016

By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes

And that’s an unlikely best-case scenario. Plus: Gone Gould; Wisconsin Sends Us An Angel; Leonard “Stink” Floyd; Ryan Pace Is Now On The Clock; Secret Bears Under Wrap?; A Lot Of Pundits Love The Packers; Coffman Can’t Take The Patriots Anymore; There Are Many Ways To Be Smart, Even For Dipshits; and The NFL Is Concussed.

Read More

Posted on September 9, 2016

By Simon Darcy and David Legg/The Conversation

Some 160 countries are participating in the Rio 2016 Paralympic Games, involving an estimated 4,350 athletes competing for 528 medal events across 22 sports.
This signifies an 11-fold increases in athlete participation from 400 at the 1964 Tokyo Games.
Countries represented at the Games have grown from 21 in 1964 to 160, and the number of sports has increased 2.5 times from nine to 22.
The Games have evolved from an event for only athletes who used wheelchairs to now welcoming 10 different impairment types that make up the athlete classification system for competition.

Read More

Posted on September 9, 2016

By Carl Mohrbacher

Holy crap, you guys! Welcome back!
It’s been eight long months and the only thing left on Earth that can hold people’s attention for seven hours at a time has returned to television!
No, it’s not your children! Because dance recitals are bullshit!
No, it’s not porn! Because of chafing!
Say it with me!

Read More

Posted on September 8, 2016

By Jim Coffman

People can feel bad about Robbie Gould’s release if they want but bringing in left guard Josh Sitton for the low, low price of a slight downgrade at kicker is a significant win for the Bears.
It isn’t quite that simple, of course, but Gould’s (contract’s) exit and the signing of former Tampa Bay kicker Connor Barth for about half of what the 11-year Bear kicker was going to make ($3 million) created critical space under the cap.
And the money that will fill that space became part of the contract offer three-time Pro Bowler Sitton couldn’t refuse. Meanwhile, Barth might be a bit of an upgrade over Gould, who blew two potential game-winning kicks last year and missed a pair of extra points in the final exhibition game this year. He turns 35 in December and is a little ways down the back side of his career.

Read More

Posted on September 6, 2016