Chicago -
By Roger Wallenstein
The curtain came down,
The Cell now is dark.
Rack up another 89 losses.
You think the Sox missed their mark?
Attendance keeps dipping
For the seventh straight year.
Fewer fans, less revenue,
No free agents I fear.
Posted on September 29, 2014
By Jim Coffman
We can stop calling it a rivalry.
With the arrival of Marc Trestman and a promising 2013 season that ended with a down-to the last-play showdown, it appeared the Bears-Packers thing might be revived as a legitimate battle of equals. But that died again on Sunday.
Posted on September 29, 2014
By Mike Luce
1. Yale.
Yale and Army played for the 46th time in a series that dates to 1893 and the Bulldogs pulled a 49-43 upset in overtime to beat the Black Knights for the first time since 1955.
First, if you beat the United States Army shouldn’t you be ranked No. 1 in the country?
Second, the United States Army’s team name is the Black Knights. We thought it was the Army.
Posted on September 29, 2014
By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes
R-e-l-a-x. L-i-v-i-n. Plus: Mel’s Bells! It’s Tucker Time. Jared Allen Is Not MIA. A Case Of The Mundys. Keeping Forte Fresh! Is Jay Cutler Bored? Leave The Black Unicorn Alone. The Verdict On Ventura. Wrigley Wrecking Ball.
Posted on September 26, 2014
By Mike Luce
We are finally getting into the meat of the season. Teams spent the opening four weeks warming up against the likes of Hawaii, South Dakota State (actually a state!), Troy (not the Greeks, the school; the school has fraternities and sororities but few actual* Greeks – let’s call them Greek-Greeks – as it’s in Nowheresville, Alabama**), Lamar***, and Illinois.
This week should separate the wheat from the chaff, as it were.
We will be closely monitoring three in-conference games this weekend. This early in the season, it’s difficult to gauge the quality of teams like Washington and Missouri. UW’s biggest win came against FCS representative Georgia State. We say this because the Huskies’ only win to date against a Power Five team was . . . Illinois.
Yes, that’s how little we think of Illiniwek & Co.
Posted on September 26, 2014
By Thomas Chambers
In the horseplaying world, “Which horse do you like?” in its literal meaning, and “Whodoya like?” are two entirely different queries.
Handicapping Saturday’s Pennsylvania Derby was a prime example.
Answer 1: I like California Chrome. He almost won the Triple Crown and he tries his hardest and has won a lot of races. He’s handsome too.
Answer 2: ‘Chrome? “NAAHHHH! I’m tossin’ ‘im.”
Posted on September 26, 2014
By Carl Mohrbacher
There’s No “L” In NYC
Considering that the Jets rushing attack was averaging about four more yards per attempt than New York quarterback Geno Smith was throwing for, I was a bit surprised that Jets offensive mastermind Marty Mornhinweg (seen here sweating through a poncho on his way to initiate a class-action lawsuit against Bing Images) tried to beat the Bears though the air.
Granted, by the end of the game the Bears had sustained so many injuries in the secondary that Phil Emery hastily re-signed former wideout Earl Bennett and instructed him to “just take this $8,000 and run around in centerfield like a damn crab you have to.”
As my grandpappy used to say, “It’s Uter-US, not Uter-TEAM.” Which I believe translates to “the Jets look like a team that wants to giftwrap victories for their opponents” in Hungarian.
Sometimes the old ways are the best ways.
Posted on September 25, 2014
By Dan O’Shea
At least three rookie QBs got significant playing time in Week 3, and none of them was named Johnny Football.
Derek Carr started for Oakland, as he has done all season (not that anyone cared because . . . Oakland), but we also got to see Teddy Bridgewater, MIN, and Blake Bortles, JAC, in the pocket when starting QBs for their teams went down with injury.
Nobody ever wants to start a rookie QB on their fantasy teams (the most recent exception being Cam Newton, Version 2011). Even their good outings are usually marred with mistakes that in the real world we chalk up to part of the learning process, but in the fantasy world we call 5.5 points, thanks to three INTs and a lost fumble.
That said, with six teams on bye in Week 4, and Carr, Bridgewater and Bortles all slated to start, a lot of fantasy teams will be starting rookie QBs this week. So, who has the edge? Or. at least, who is likely to make the fewest mistakes?
Posted on September 24, 2014
By Jim Coffman
In less than 10 days, the Bears have gone from “was 8-8 too optimistic?” to “beat the Packers and establish yourselves as a leading team in the conference.”
How did that happen?
Well, one big answer is that the coach, and the quarterback, remained steadfast.
Posted on September 23, 2014
By Steve Rhodes
What was your favorite part of the Cubs’ season-long celebration of Wrigley Field’s 100th birthday?
I know the Ricketts’ favorite part: The end, when they begin putting the final nail in the coffin of the only untraded long-term asset that kept this franchise not only viable, but in tall cotton at the bank for decades.
Here are some of mine:
* Theo’s 100th flipped player.
* The team’s 100th version of its renovation.
* The 100th rerun of the Undercover Boss episode where Todd Ricketts throws away a bunch of hot dogs – on camera – and then lies to his boss (actually, his employee) about it by pretending he sold them.
Posted on September 22, 2014
