Boy Cub Trends Terribly On Twitter

Anthony Rizzo’s Cubs debut on Tuesday night sent fans into paroxysms on Twitter that were only rarely clever and mostly consisted of lame Hall of Fame predictions and dating come-ons. It may have been the #Rizzocalypse (though it wasn’t the #Rizzogeddon), but it wasn’t pretty. (Even Wrigley Field official scorer Bob Rosenberg gave in to the hype, changing an error to a hit to give Rizzo his first asterisk in a Cubs uniform and then scoring his single as a double when he advanced to second on a throw.)
Here’s our own narrative arc constructed of a few Beachwood tweets along with some of the best of the rest.

With Anthony Rizzo’s arrival, batting order will read 3. DeJesus, 4. Jesus. #cubs

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 26, 2012

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Posted on June 27, 2012

By Dan O’Shea

Our White Sox picked up Kevin Youkilis for spare parts last week, though the enthusiasm for the deal was tempered in some quarters by the belief that Youkilis himself may be no more than a spare part.
When Youkilis came to Chicago, he had 4 HRs, 14 RBIs and a .233 average – the making of a career-worst year in which he already had seen himself benched in Boston in favor of a rookie. In fantasy terms, he has been a non-factor, still kept as a bench player in many leagues, but giving no one a reason to play him.
Does anything change with his arrival in Chicago?

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Posted on June 27, 2012

By The Cub Factor

Former Cub Marlon Byrd revealed in 2009 that he not only had worked with steroid doctor/pill pusher Victor Conte but would continue to work with steroid doctor/pill pusher Victor Conte.
The unemployed Byrd has now been suspended for 50 games for violating the league’s drug policy, though he has absolved Conte of any responsibility.
For reasons we can’t quite remember – maybe it came back in the news – The Cub Factor tracked Conte’s injections into Byrd during the 2011 season in a running item we called The Marlon Byrd Supplemental Report. Which means all those lame jokes going around about how Byrd’s performance-enhancing drugs didn’t enhance his performance were already made by us – in a much funnier way. Let us review and remember.

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Posted on June 25, 2012

By Jim Coffman

When I go to Chicago sporting events – and I took in two on Saturday and Sunday – I usually sit in the cheap seats.
The only “season” tickets I have (my wife and I split a Cubs nights and weekends package with three other parties) are in the upper deck reserved.
I didn’t quite make it down to the front row when I had a chance to take in the Fire game Saturday evening at Toyota Park and the White Sox’s battle with the Brewers at The Cell Sunday. But I was pretty close to the action.
And here’s a news flash: It was very cool to be so close – especially for the Fire’s stirring 2-1 victory over the Columbus Crew.

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Posted on June 25, 2012

By Marty Gangler

Oh people, he’s coming. The next guy to take away all the pain. He’s so close we can taste his musk. And he’s bringing with him a huge bag of hope. Anthony Rizzo, come on down! You are the next contestant on Make The Cubs Right!
But hope and a big bat aren’t enough to do the job alone. We here at The Cub Factor request The Riz bring a long a few other items if he wants to turn this team into a winner.
* A diagram of the strike zone to hand out to his new teammates, along with a baseball dictionary definition of the word “walk.”
* An answer key to all the stats Dale Sveum seems to look at but doesn’t seem to really understand.
* Some pills for Matt Garza to “take the edge off.”

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Posted on June 25, 2012

By Roger Wallenstein

A little more than two weeks ago my phone rang with a 602 area code on the caller ID, which I recognized as Phoenix. But the number was unfamiliar. After ascertaining that this wasn’t a solicitation or wrong number, the caller said, “I hear you know a lot of White Sox trivia.”
Being a humble and modest fellow who’s been watching the Sox for more than 60 years, I ventured that I knew a few things about the franchise.
“Well, if you know so much, who was the Sox batboy in 1972?” the caller blurted. I countered that I knew the 1954 batboy for the Cubs since he was my future brother-in-law, but, no, I was stumped. “No clue,” I said.
“Well, you’re talking to him,” was the response.

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Posted on June 25, 2012

By Dan O’Shea

Stolen bases are a stat category that some fantasy baseball owners take for granted, perhaps because some of the best base stealers can’t do much else to help your fantasy team.
Still, if you lose the SBs category on a frequent basis, it could be worth using a bench spot on one of those fast one-trick ponies, even just to activate him at the end of the week when you need a few SBs to get you over the top.
Here are some of the top SB specialists widely available in most leagues:

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Posted on June 20, 2012

By The Beachwood Hawkeroo Affairs Desk

During a Sox beatdown at the hands of the Cubs.

i’d rather have a squirrel stapled to my crotch than have to watch the cubs with hawk harrelson broadcasting #awful #bad #notgood

— Eric Alexander Clark (@tightshirts) June 19, 2012

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Posted on June 19, 2012

By Jim Coffman

My 13-year-old son Noah loves to keep score at Cubs games. Doing so gives him a chance to participate in a spectator sport in a way that doesn’t exist when we watch basketball or football or whatever else. Of course, he also loves to have information that others don’t and then to fill them in on the gaps in their knowledge. Keeping score gives him a great chance to do that.
By the time a sixth inning of a given game rolls around, just about the time the conversation begins to lag during game-day get-togethers I have at the park, Noah starts busting out the little tidbits of information provided by his careful record-keeping.
It is exhausting at times but my wife reminds me that soon he probably won’t talk to us hardly at all. A part of me pines for those future days but I think the bigger part knows she’s right and that I better try hard to cherish our current interactions.
We took in the Cubs-Red Sox tilt on Sunday and by very good fortune we were able to settle into our seats literally as the Cubs were taking the field in the top of the first. I went for a beer and a Pepsi and Noah locked it down in his spot in the upper deck reserved for the next two hours.

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Posted on June 18, 2012

By Steve Rhodes

Apparently Dale Sveum didn’t get the memo.
This was supposed to be a new Cubs era.
One typified by the oft-repeated mantra of “Playing the game right.”
One that stressed fundamentals.
And accountability.
Starting with the little things.
Like hustling out of the box on a batted ball.
Instead, we’re back to how great of a teammate Alfonso Soriano is. What, he brings candy to the clubhouse every day?

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Posted on June 18, 2012