By Carl Mohrbacher

I have tickets to the last home game of 2011. Should I go?
-J.J., Abrams WI
Of course!
In addition to potentially seeing Starlin Castro’s 200th hit, there are at least 10 good reasons to attend.
* You’ll see the last game Mike Quade manages at Wrigley Field.
* It will be the only time in history a baseball team that included eight black cattle ranchers clinched a division . . . at least in the National League.
* Marlee Matlin is singing the seventh-inning stretch.
• The Ricketts family has opted to replace the face-painting booth with a nipple-painting booth.

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Posted on September 22, 2011

By Emory Hunt/The Czar of the Playbook

Zone blitz kills Cutler.

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Posted on September 21, 2011

By The Premier Showcase

“Founded in 1999 by professional gymnast Tim Shaw, these young inner city youth are taught discipline, respect, hard work, integrity and teamwork. Members must maintain a ‘C’ average in school, are not allowed to drop out of school, associate with gangs, drugs, alcohol or tobacco. Through Tim’s positive impact, many kids have not only become professional polished gymnasts, but turned their lives around in the process.”

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Posted on September 21, 2011

By Jim Coffman

The killer about the Bears’ 30-13 loss to the Saints on Sunday was the fact that the game was there for the contesting about five minutes into the third quarter. The Bear defense had risen up to start the second half and recorded a pair of three-and-outs. The offense was a few first downs away from a field goal to tie (at 16) if not a touchdown to take the lead.
But then a Saints blitzer, linebacker Turk McBride, slipped around tight end Kellen Davis, blind-sided Jay Cutler and forced a fumble that New Orleans recovered. A minute or two later the home team scored a touchdown to take a 23-13 lead and the Bears were in trouble.
Here was yet another game in which one critical turnover at one critical time was decisive.

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Posted on September 19, 2011

By Roger Wallenstein

We found ourselves in Seattle last weekend visiting family. There is much to do in the Emerald City. They have a first-class aquarium, harbor cruises, tours of Boeing, the Space Needle, Pike Street Market, Mt. Rainier and the Olympics.
So, of course, we went to the ballgame.
We’d been to Safeco Field a number of times in the past and always have liked the place. It’s a different experience than any stadium I’ve encountered.

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Posted on September 19, 2011

By Marty Gangler

Was it me or did that four-game series with the Reds feel like it took a month? It didn’t even feel like that long of a week at the old day job.
Lost in those long four days, though, was a gem of a comment made by Bob Brenly. He said something to the fact that Joey Votto of the Reds has more walks than four Cubs starters combined. So I took a look and did some math.
Votto has 106 walks while Marlon Byrd (24), A-Ram (42), Darwin Barney (19), and Starlin Castro (33) have a combined 118. How pathetic.
With this in mind, we here at The Cub Factor thought it might be wise to make a list of a few things we would like General Manager X to do/be aware of as he comes in:

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Posted on September 19, 2011

By Mike Luce

In case you missed anything this week, and by “anything” we mean “pretty much every headline in college football because you don’t follow the sport apart from sporadically reading this column,” the College Football Reporter, the Free Range Chicken and the Beachwood Sports Seal have you covered. In return, the least you can do is send us some genetically engineered chicken feed or a bottle of Ol’ Grand-Dad.
Or how about some OGD produced from gossypol-enhanced chicken feed? Pro: gossypol prevents breast cancer. Cons: toxic, tastes like old sweaters. Bonus: would still get you drunk!
Here we go:

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Posted on September 16, 2011

By Carl Mohrbacher

Is DJ LeMahieu just a right-handed Micah Hoffpauir?
-Caleb, Henning IL
No, because DJ has a job in the major leagues.
Fun trivia fact about LeMahieu:
His birth name is actually Doug Goldblatt. Doug had some success after college as a rave disc jockey and picked up the alias LeMahieu during an ecstasy bender in which he believed he was a French concierge. In 2006, he lost a bet with the ghost of Andy Warhol that he couldn’t eat 60 croissants without vomiting, so he put down the glowstick, stopped chopping righteous mixes and picked up a bat.

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Posted on September 15, 2011

By Carl Mohrbacher

It Bears Repeating
During his rendition of the national anthem, Jim Cornelison didn’t just bring the thunder. He brought a 30-case of Thunder, pounded a two-liter of Cougar Boost Energy Drink and showed this chump how it’s done by blasting America’s collective tears of pride right off our face.

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Posted on September 15, 2011

By Dan O’Shea

Week 1 of the NFL season has a way of making you want to throw away your whole fantasy football game plan. Nothing ever goes quite as anyone expected. Guys that are supposed to be great end up falling on their faces, while players who didn’t make your preseason draft list end up at the top of the week’s fantasy stat board.
It’s the sort of thing that makes you want to hate the so-called fantasy experts. I forcefully hesitate to call myself an expert, and think of my role as much more of an assistant, helping you find your way to information that may prove useful. But I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me for not suggesting to you last week that Carolina QB Cam Newton would throw for 400-plus yards; that Green Bay WR Randall Cobb would score two TDs; or that troubled Cincinnati RB Cedric Benson would run for 121 yards. I’m kind of mad at myself, too.
The big question to ask though – while we’re filling the world with more hate – is how many of these Week 1 performances are indicative of future returns? Here’s my analysis of some surprising Week 1 stars:

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Posted on September 14, 2011