By David Rutter

1. Embattled Carla Oglesby, WTF?
We all enjoyed the perp walk by county board president Todd Stroger’s deputy chief of staff on Monday (What is this title fetish? It’s like the bridge command for Battlestar Gallactica).
According to the Trib, “A message left on Stroger’s cell phone was not immediately returned” but that’s because he was too busy screaming “Son of a bitch!” at the top of his lungs.
Carla ain’t be going down by her own good self. Nosiree, Bob. It was an all-around bad day for Olgesby. If you entered the words “Carla Oglesby arrested” on Google, it reported 78,000 hits.
We could regale you with the juicy details of this scam, but it’s the pathetically usual taking-money-for-nothing at county government headquarters. She was very clever and was totally in the clear because she made all the filched contracts cost $24,900, which avoids the law that requires the county board be advised of $25,000 deals. What she forgot was that it was still illegal to steal the money. A minor detail, sure, but that’s one of the quirks in felony theft law.
And speaking of Nosiree, Bob . . .

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Posted on October 10, 2010

By TOA Technologies

Being forced to wait for hours at home for a service or delivery appointment is a frustrating experience for today’s busy consumer, and it is also an expensive one.
TOA Technologies, a software company uniquely focused on putting an end to waiting without knowing, conducted the second annual Cost of Waiting Survey and Report to shed new light on the economic impact of waiting for in-home appointments.
The report, published today, found 69% of American adults have waited for utilities, cable/satellite TV, Internet, retail home deliveries and other services in the past year.
Those that wait typically do so about four times per year, for an astonishing average wait of almost four and a half hours per appointment – costing consumers about $752 in lost time annually (based on respondent-reported values for their time).

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Posted on October 7, 2010

By The Beachwood Booksellers Affairs Division

Please join us on Thursday, October 14 for a very special presentation of J.J. Tindall’s Ballots From The Dead.
Choose your own poem to read from our Chicagoetry collection and bring books to donate to our gracious host, Open Books.

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Posted on October 4, 2010

By David Rutter

1. Goober-natorial, WTF?
Pat Quinn (D-Dense) and challenger Wild Bill Brady (R-Freakin’ Nuts) have been debating over the governorship that one of them will hold in another month.
Depressed by the choice? Yeah, us, too. WTF is thinking about moving to Canada, buying plaid shirts and changing our name to Bruce.
WTF Bruce? Has a nice ring to it.
Quinn calls Brady “heartless” for his proposed social services cuts; Brady calls Quinn brainless because, well, let’s not belabor the painfully obvious. All we need is the Cowardly Lion and a babe in sparkly red heels. We’ve already cast Judy Baar Topinka for Margaret Hamilton’s Witch of the West role.
Blago is the flying monkey.

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Posted on October 1, 2010