By George Ofman
The quote will haunt him forever. Or is that the misquote?

Fantasy Fix: Dump Jay Cutler?

It was dredged up again last week when Michael Jordan was inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame. His widely criticized acceptance speech took aim at several people whom he claimed motivated him to be a better player. Not that Jerry Krause was a very motivational individual.
But there he was again, a figure of disdain for that quote.
“Organizations win championships.”
Wrong then, wrong now, yet right!

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Posted on September 16, 2009

By Dan O’Shea
Week 1 in the NFL produced plenty of surprises, none more than the woeful performance by Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler: 1 TD, 4 INTs. This may cause you, along with the season-ending injury to Brian Urlacher, to lose faith in the Bears’ post-season chances, but is this a reason to lose faith in Cutler as fantasy QB?
Not from where I’m sitting.

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Posted on September 16, 2009

By Mike Luce
Big games do not typically take place in the second week of the season. For ranked teams, Week 2 is a time to regroup (after an opening loss), build momentum (following a win), and run up the score. Outside of Columbus and Ann Arbor, the trend held true . . . with one significant exception. As always, for entertainment purposes only . . .

PLUS: Bears In A Body Bag The White Sox Report

Game: Clemson 27 @ # 15 Georgia Tech 30 (-5.5)
What was supposed to happen? Clemson entered the season with question marks at quarterback, wide receiver, linebacker, and placekicker. Despite these trifling issues, many projected the Tigers to compete for the ACC title. Meanwhile, some pre-season analysts predicted a sophomore slump for Georgia Tech. The Yellow Jackets enjoyed immediate success in 2008 during the first year of new coach Paul Johnson. But league opponents may adjust this season, forcing Tech to abandon last year’s winning formula – running out of the option.
What actually happened? Tech’s triple option seems alive and well. The passing game, however, may need some work. For example, starting QB Josh Nesbitt completed two more passes than kicker Scott Blair. Usually not a good sign. Yet the Yellow Jackets racked up more than three hundred yards rushing and held a 24-0 lead before the Tigers woke up. Clemson nearly came back to win the game, but conference standings don’t include an “Almost” column.

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Posted on September 15, 2009

By George Ofman
The man in the middle is now the man on the outside looking in. This is not good if you’re Brian Urlacher. It’s much worse if you’re the Chicago Bears and perhaps even worse if you’re a Chicago Bears fan.
Coping with Jay Cutler’s curtain-raising horror show in Green Bay is one thing. Dealing with the loss for the season of the team’s middle linebacker and maybe its best defender is another.
Not only did the Bears lose the face of its defense for 2009, it also lost another starting linebacker, Pisa Tinoisamoa, which spelled backwards is eye chart.

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Posted on September 15, 2009

By Andrew Reilly
For reasons still not entirely known, I joined a fantasy football league last week. Perhaps it was for the thrill of low-stakes gambling, or perhaps it was for the simple pleasure of worrying how many points the Oakland Raiders will give up to the Eagles in Week Six.
But oh, what great surprise when I looked this morning at our league’s standings, saw I was in a respectable third place, heard some supposedly awful news about my players’ sad performances and simply did not care. At all. Not that I wanted to lose ground so early or anything, and not that I didn’t expect greatness out of Messrs. Johnson, Turner et al, but having no real attachment to any of these players I could let their missteps slide. At the same time, viewing these greats of the gridiron not through the prism of who they are (or how I relate to them) but in terms of simple output made it easier to not worry about the fate of their teams – just the fate of my collective.
And it got me thinking about a way to enjoy the tail end of this year’s White Sox tailspin. Not quite fantasy baseball, but fantasy bad baseball.

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Posted on September 15, 2009

By Jim Coffman
I remember last year when a big-time sports fan friend of mine came back from Lambeau Field after watching the Packers humiliate the Bears. He reported that one illuminating aspect of taking in the game in person was having the chance to watch all the receivers’ routes develop during any given play. And what he saw wasn’t pretty. The Bears receivers didn’t just fail to achieve anything close to consistent separation from defensive backs, they seemed to be blanketed by Packers from the start of the game until the last play. It was no wonder the Bears offense was so inept.
My friend’s assessment sprang to mind while watching the Bear receiving corps struggle mightily at times Sunday night. It wasn’t quite as simple as saying the receivers sucked, because Devin Hester, Earl Bennett and Johnny Knox all had their highlights. But I cannot remember a Bears game in at least the last decade in which mangled routes led to more than an interception or two.

Beachwood Baseball: The Cub Factor: Prairie Lou The White Sox Report: Will appear on Tuesday.

And three of the four Jay Cutler picks on Sunday could be directly attributed to receivers (or tight end Desmond Clark) not being where they were supposed to be.
The performance was capped off by Knox’s bizarre move backwards out of what seemed like an absolutely mundane slant on the Bears’ last offensive play. Most of the receivers who struggled against the Packers last year have been cleared out. Younger replacements have been found. But the position is still a key weakness.

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Posted on September 14, 2009

By Marty Gangler
Let’s look ahead to this day next year.
A Sept. 14, 2010 preview:
Lou Piniella: Is still managing, but it’s a restaurant in Florida called Mount Lou’s. They have Falstaff on tap. He still isn’t sure who should work the first shift.
Mike Fontenot : The utility fry cook at Mount Lou’s.
Carlos Zambrano: Almost ready to return after breaking an ankle on So You Think You Can Dance.

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Posted on September 14, 2009

By Eric Emery
Most years, a Bears Super Bowl appearance hangs in the balance due to a host of “Ifs.”
For instance, the Bears go to the Super Bowl if Grossman stays healthy, if Tommie Harris returns to form, if Urlacher keeps it in his pants, etc. Mostly, everybody knew these “ifs” were insurmountable hurdles to success.

Beachwood Bears: Another Super Bowl Shuffle Worse Than You Think Calendar Bears The Hester Man CanPLUS: The College Report TrackNotes: She’s The One Ofman on Jordan

This year, it’s a foregone conclusion: The Bears are going to the Super Bowl.
This team is nearly bulletproof, in which only the most extraordinary of circumstances will keep the Lombardi Trophy out of Chicago.
Here are those extraordinary circumstances.
* Hollywood lures Devin Hester away to star in Forrest Gump II: The Return of Gump because they need another fast character with no brains.
* Olin Kruetz kills a man for snoring.
* Jay Cutler forgets to rein in his rocket arm, causing his receivers’ hands to explode upon contact.
* To help games from being dominated by the defense, Lovie Smith hands off the defensive play calling to one of the four defensive coordinators on the team.

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Posted on September 11, 2009

By Mike Luce
The college football season finally got underway last Thursday and, truthfully, caught us a bit before we were ready for it here at the Beachwood Sports Desk. So let’s get you caught up and then take a look at this weekend. As always, the following is for entertainment purposes only.
The Week(s) in Review
Game: Utah St. 17 @ #19 Utah 35 (-21)
What was supposed to happen? People love the Utes. And for good reason, I suppose. I’ve always enjoyed Utah’s outsider role in the BCS mess. But for whatever reason, this year’s team does not turn me on. Their game last Thursday was an audition for another run into BCS contention.
What actually happened? Utah won but didn’t cover. See what I mean?

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Posted on September 11, 2009

By Green Bay Bill
A 2009 version of this Beachwood classic.
Green Bay, you’re gonna eat some cheese
Pittsburgh, you lose the second game with ease
Seattle, you and Holmgren are both history
Detroit, congratulations now you’re one and three
Yeah, yeah, now the season’s unfurled
There won’t be any playoffs now in the Bears World
No way, any day this year
Atlanta Falcons are gonna fly
Cincinnati, Ocho-Cinco says goodbye
Cleveland, Erie not to be in the Dawg Pound
Arizona, Another loss before the sun goes down

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Posted on September 11, 2009