By Eric Emery
At the conclusion of this year, the NFL will need to negotiate a new collective bargaining agreement with the Players Association. Commissioner Roger Goodell will be at the forefront of this effort. In order to have enough time and energy to broker a deal, perhaps Goodell should delegate some of his other duties so he may focus on the negotiations. I believe he is wise to take a page out of the Obama playbook and name some czars help Goodell out. I already have some suggestions.

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Czar of Officiating: Serena Williams
Why: Officiating is really important to Serena, especially if it is match point.
Strength: Expects perfection.
Weakness: Would threaten to fucking kill all those who make an officiating
error.
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Czar of In-Stadium Music: Kanye West
Why: Beyoncé needs the royalties.
Strength: Would bring style to timeouts and halftime.
Weakness: Would appear on the field out of nowhere and award the game to the losing team.

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Posted on September 17, 2009

By Eric Emery
If a column called Over/Under failed to make some predictions on the current line regarding regular season wins, we might as well be one more oxymoron, like Microsoft Works or the Detroit Lions.
Team: Denver Broncos
Line: 6.5 wins
Prediction: Under. John Denver behind the controls of a plane is the only Denver worse than this Denver.
Team: Detroit Lions
Line: 4.5 wins
Prediction: Under. Like the Obama health plan initiative, this team suffers 14 setbacks.

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Posted on September 10, 2009