By Citizen Kate

Welcome to politics, Citizen Kate!
On June 5, 2007, Citizen Kate asked John Edwards what it took to be a great leader. Part of his response: “Someone who is honest and very open . . . America wants to feel like they can trust their president.”
That was enough for CK. “I like that you’re honest!” she told him.
But we should have been paying closer attention. Watch for the creepy moment when Kate asks Edwards for a job and he seems to briefly consider hiring her to make webisodes for his campaign.

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Posted on August 9, 2008

By The Beachwood Special Session Affairs Desk

“Gov. Rod Blagojevich is bringing state lawmakers back for a two-day special session next week, just in time for the Illinois State Fair.”
* The governor will propose dates for next summer’s special session.
* Legislators will solve the state’s budget crisis by holding the world hostage for $1 million – no, $100 billion – dollars!
* The governor will reveal that he actually has a doomsday machine.
* Michael Madigan will abandon the governor on the rollercoaster at the State Fair and take the workers home with him.
* Fundraising idea: Dunk the governor! This would come close to closing the budget gap.

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Posted on August 7, 2008

By The Beachwood Liberation Front

The mayor leaves for Beijing today and doesn’t return until August 12. Here are some things to do while he’s gone.
*
Break curfew.
*
Call City Hall and ask if their Shakman Decree is running.
*
Rename Northerly Island “Meigs Field.”

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Posted on August 4, 2008