By Citizen Kate

The Beachwood is hitting the campaign trail this summer with Citizen Kate.
“Politics are pretty complicated. So I’ve elected myself to uncover the process, and make it easy for regular people, like me, to understand,” Kate says. “I’ve already spoken with John Edwards, Chris Dodd, and Abraham Lincoln. Yeah. I thought he was dead too.
“I’ll cover the Republicans, Democrats, and even Al Gore if he runs last minute. You’ll also get to find out how a first time voter, like me, will vote. Everyone should vote. It’s all about your voice being heard, and influencing the decisions made by great leaders.
“There are so many party choices: Democrat, Republican, Green, Libertarian, Labor, Light, Moderate, Natural, Prohibition, Reform, Socialist, Socialist Equality, Socialist Labor, Socialist Workers, U.S. Marijuana, Peace and Freedom, and more. This is gonna be tough!”
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From the Trail: Obama & Me

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Posted on June 30, 2008

By The Beachwood Coded Racism Affairs Desk

As Ben Joravsky noted recently at Clout City, one of the most familiar refrains from Mayor Daley’s enablers is that Chicago would have become Detroit if it hadn’t been for him. The good folks here at Beachwood Labs went to their computer banks to see if this was true and, indeed, this is the way life would be here if Daley had never become mayor.
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1. We’d be in the Eastern time zone.
2. Eminem would have grown up here and married Ashlee Simpson.
3. Welcome to Hockeytown!
4. Canada would be where Gary is.
5. Berry Gordy Jr. would have produced “Kanye West and The Miracles.”

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Posted on June 25, 2008

Citizen Kate

Coming soon!

Posted on June 23, 2008

By The Beachwood Brill Building

Every law you break
Every move you make
For the land at stake
If the park you take
We’ll be watching you!
Every single day
Every vote you sway
Every lie you say
Every term you stay
We’ll be watching you!
Grant Park must be
Open clear and free
City hearts just ache
With every dig you make

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Posted on June 11, 2008

By Mike Gravel

Dear Friend:
I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for your support of my recent presidential candidacy and for your support for my public efforts in the past.
My electoral career spanned more than 50 years and 18 campaigns as a candidate. Some of you will remember that, when I lost my Senate re-election in 1980, I was disillusioned with representative government. But I continued my interest in and study of public policy and of the problems of human governance, eventually finding others who shared my goal of improving our broken representative democracy.
For all the talk of change in this – and every – election, there are really only two venues for fundamental change: the people and the government. We all know that our government has, by and large, been corrupted by money from lobbyists for various corporate interests. As a result, it’s the special interests that are primarily served by our government – not the public interest.
Government gridlock has occurred because of the way the structures of government have evolved. But the Congress, and state and local governments, have little interest in enacting legislation to empower the people because doing so would dilute their own power. The same is true for the media, which covets its current role as a filter of information between the government and the people.

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Posted on June 10, 2008

By The National Black Republican Association

We must act today to keep the White House in the hands of Republicans!
To win the 2008 election, Republicans must accomplish this one very important goal – win just 25% of the black vote.
But how do we win 25% of the black vote? Most black voters favor conservative policies – not liberal ones. They do not support higher taxes, surrendering in Iraq, partial birth abortion and same-sex marriage. For middle class blacks, voting their values NOW means voting Republican.
That’s why we must act immediately to get the ball rolling on our proven 2008 VICTORY PLAN to educate and bring these black voters back to the Party of Lincoln.
Our 4-step 2008 Victory Plan:

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Posted on June 9, 2008

By The Beachwood Bob Barr Affairs Desk

Cites Anniversary of Proposition 13, Goes on Stephen Colbert
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
BobBarr2008
Atlanta, GA – Thirty years ago this week California voters passed Proposition 13, “inspiring an entire generation of advocates of individual liberty and limited government,” notes Bob Barr, the Libertarian Party candidate for president. It was a true people’s revolt against the entire political establishment – politicians, lobbyists, interest groups, and unions.
“We need a similar popular revolt today,” says Barr. Tax Freedom Day wasn’t until April 23 this year, meaning that on average Americans spent almost four months just to pay their taxes. That isn’t the end of the burden: “It also took six billion hours to comply with Uncle Sam’s dictates,” notes Barr.

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Posted on June 5, 2008