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By The Beachwood Military Affairs Desk
War, what is it good for? Surprisingly limited programming.
5 a.m.: Revolutionary War
6 a.m.: First World War
7 a.m.: Weaponology
8 a,.m.: Weaponology
9 a.m.: 20th Century Battlefields
Posted on February 29, 2008
By Scott Buckner
What can you say about an Academy Award show so hopelessly lame and lifeless that even the normally-interesting “Who Died Last Year?” segment is populated mostly by agents?
That was Sunday night’s show in a nutshell. In fact, the most entertaining part of the Oscars didn’t even happen during the Oscars. It came a short time later, when Jimmy Kimmel Live presented “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” in response to Kimmel girlfriend Sarah Silverman’s video “I’m Fucking Matt Damon.”
There have been very few moments in recent television history as piss-your-pants funny as that, and very few people short of Bob Geldof who can put together a reprise of “We Are The World” that has nothing whatsoever to do with starving Africans or broke farmers.
Kimmel’s segment on actors who will probably soon be dead and mentioned during the Oscars (“You will be missed. Eventually.”) was just as priceless.
Sunday night’s Oscars telecast did provide some notable moments, though. Here were some you might have been smart enough to miss.
Posted on February 26, 2008
By Kathryn Ware
Our tribute to the 35th anniversary of the debut of Maude continues.
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Season 1, Episode 17
Episode Title: Arthur Moves In
Original airdate: 6 February 1973
Plot: As this episode begins, we find a seething Maude already at Code Orange. Arthur is staying with the Findlays while his house is under repair following a fire and he’s long worn out his welcome. Maude is tired of cleaning up after Arthur and Walter’s late night cribbage beer blasts and cooking Arthur’s breakfast to order. Meanwhile, Arthur has monopolized the master bathroom, singing Gilbert & Sullivan and using up all the hot water. The worst part for Maude – and what I suspect has really got her most worked up – is her lack of a love life now that Walter has his best buddy to hang with into the wee hours.
Posted on February 21, 2008
By Julia Gray
Ten Things I Learned From Watching Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America.
1. Gordon Ramsay is one of the few 41-year old men who can disrobe on camera and not send viewers screaming from the room or cause one’s eyes to bleed out upon seeing the body of a hard-living head chef and TV host. Shockingly, Ramsay looks pretty damn good for someone who spends most of his time sampling inedible dishes from the crappy restaurants he’s been sent to fix.
2. Gordon Ramsay is Britain’s answer to Chuck Norris minus the stumping for a presidential candidate and martial arts expertise. Just like the legendary Norris, Ramsay has scores of special powers and super-human strength that bring kitchen staffs to their knees.
3. Gordon Ramsay can magically sharpen a dull carving knife by just thinking about it.
Posted on February 18, 2008
By Leigh Novak
Although I tend to annoy easily with the sport of channel-surfing during commercial breaks, if it were not for this attention-deficit idiosyncracy of my boyfriend’s, I would never have stumbled into the merriment of Country Fried Home Videos.
Country Music Television (CMT) is not a channel that I have explored much in the past, for good reason; I don’t care for today’s popular country music. But CMT, much like its mother station MTV, has gotten away from focusing on the very reason for its existence – the M’s of their acronyms. Bad for MTV, good for CMT.
So suddenly, CMT is a tolerable stop on the dial, but only on the rare occasion that Discovery has nothing to offer (or because you decided against watching Bear Grylls in the Sahara desert for the fourth time . . . even if he does wear a pee-soaked t-shirt turban and eat feces in that episode). CMT is now airing shows that are remakes of existing shows on MTV, done with a brazen splash of redneck. The equivalent to MTV’s Pimp My Ride, for example, is called Trick My Truck.
Posted on February 15, 2008
By The Beachwood Insomnia Affairs Desk
For the amphetamine user with a home-shopping addiction and a taste for kitsch.
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2:30 a.m.: Marie Osmond Dolls
3 a.m.: Polish Stoneware
4 a.m.: Belleek Irish Porcelain
5 a.m.: Peterboro Baskets
6 a.m.: Collectibles/Franklin Mint
Posted on February 13, 2008
By Kathryn Ware
Our tribute to the 35th anniversary of the debut of Maude continues.
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Season 1, Episode 16
Episode Title: The Medical Profession
Original airdate: 30 January 1973
Plot: Having had four first honeymoons, Maude is preparing for her first second honeymoon. Carol pops the Champagne to wish Walter and Maude bon voyage on their trip to Italy. Walter descends the stairs, carting a heck of a lot more luggage for this trip than the last time he was in Italy – during World War II!
Maude enters and makes a beeline for the mini-bar, which she immediately begins rubbing against like a bear scratching its backside on a tree. She’s broken out in a rash, an allergic reaction to a recent tetanus shot, but nothing is going to stand in the way of her getting on that plane to Italy.
Per usual, Arthur enters the Findlay house unannounced and without knocking. He volunteers to look at Maude’s rash but she declines to have her husband’s best friend “ogle” her naked body, even if he is a doctor. Arthur gives her the name of a colleague, a successful dermatologist named Tasko and Maude rushes to the doctor’s office.
Posted on February 12, 2008
By The Beachwood True Life Affairs Desk
The lives of young people as seen – pretty accurately – through an episode countdown of MTV’s True Life.
1. I’m On Adderall
2. I’m In An Interracial Relationship
3. I’ll Do Anything for Money
4. I Live A Double Life
5. I Live To Ride
Posted on February 11, 2008
By The Beachwood O Affairs Desk
In honor of Oprah Winfrey’s involvement in the Barack Obama campaign, we thought we’d tell readers what her fine fertile political mind is bringing to viewers this week, according to Oprah.com.
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Monday
Should a 340-Pound Teenage Have Gastric Bypass Surgery?
How far will parents go to help their children lose weight? Our cameras follow a 340-pound high school student into gastric bypass surgery. Then, why one mom took her 13-year-old across the border for gastric banding. And, when one mother’s son hit 363 pounds, she took extreme measures. Plus, another woman had gastric bypass when she was a teenager . . . five years later, the unexpected pitfalls she now faces.
Tuesday
Dr. Oz Reveals the Ultimate Checklist for Great Aging
Dr. Oz’s ultimate anti-aging checklist will help you peel off the years! Stock your fridge with the latest anti-aging foods and drinks. Why antioxidants are so beneficial and how to get your fill! Then, how you can add eight years to your life in just five minutes a day! Plus, an ancient secret that promotes youth, a spice that makes you smarter and a powerful berry that you need to know. And, Dr. Oz sorts out the vitamins you really need to take!
Posted on February 5, 2008
