By The Beachwood Hypnosis Affairs Desk

The following press release announcing the work of a leading clinical hypnotherapist who’s assistance has aided drought-afflicted farmers in Australia, may be of interest to your audience. Any editorial comment or mention that you may give this press release would be greatly appreciated.
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LEADING CLINICAL HYPNOTHERAPIST ASSISTS NSW’S DROUGHT-AFFLICTED FARMERS
Dateline: Perth, Western Australia
Email: clinicalhypno@optusnet.com.au
Web Address: www.mindmotivations.com/
PERTH, WESTERN AUSTRALIA – January 31, 2008 – Farmers in New South Wales may have received welcome rain over the past month, but the effects of the drought that has plagued the state are far from over.
“The psychological effects of the drought continue to devastate farming families in New South Wales,” said Rick Collingwood, a world-renowned hypnotherapist and the founder of Mind Motivations and the Australian Academy of Hypnosis. “We are seeing signs of trauma, depression, and even suicidal thought throughout the region.”

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Posted on January 31, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

LIVING IN A LITTLE CATHOLIC CEMETERY
Finally, the whole earth
gushed out of me.
I was left alone, empty, living in a little
Catholic cemetery. Musta been
the southwest side: gangsters, black
athletes, immigrant labor leaders.

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Posted on January 30, 2008

By The Beachwood Chippewa Falls Affairs Desk

LEINENKUGEL’S RESPONDS TO FANS; BRINGS NORTHWOODS LAGER BACK FOR A LIMITED TIME
CHIPPEWA FALLS, Wis. (January 28, 2008) – A legendary cold one returns with a timely dose of Northwoods flavor to lure taste buds out of hibernation. Specialty craft beer fans are in for a nice surprise with the return of Leinenkugel’s Northwoods Lager this February. The Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Company will reintroduce Northwoods Lager to Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota and select distributors in Michigan and Illinois beginning February 4th for a limited time. After a two-year hiatus, the award-winning brew will re-join the Leinenkugel’s family of premium craft brews on retailer shelves.

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Posted on January 29, 2008

By Nancy Simon

Unless you live under a rock or high up in a mountain peak somewhere, you are probably all-too-familiar with the trendy phenomenon known as the Local Food Movement – also known as “food patriotism.”
You know, good for you and good for the environment.
Or is it? Let’s take a look.

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Posted on January 28, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

THE EMPEROR’S NEW GOWN
I like
nice things.
A big house,
for starters.
I fancy
the subdivision
called Moral
Highgrounds.

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Posted on January 25, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

BAKER STREET BLUES
Gerry Rafferty’s “Baker Street”
was “Our Song.”
Me, and Ms. Susan
Lynn Vaugh of Mesquite,
Texas, new to Naperville
Central.
I moved in
fast, moments ahead
of my
reputation.

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Posted on January 24, 2008

By The Beachwood Lust On Demand Affairs Desk

MARRIOTT’S GIVES ROOM SERVICE WHOLE NEW MEANING
Lust on-demand cheapens Marriott’s “family values”
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When his two sisters-in-law booked Robert Peters into Marriott hotels in Massachusetts and California for Thanksgiving and Christmas visits, he discovered his rooms were neat and tidy. However, his TV choices at the Marriott were not nearly so clean.
Flipping through his video on demand options, Peters quickly learned that this Mormon-owned establishment was promoting X-rated films with such shocking titles as . . .

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Posted on January 23, 2008

By The Beachwood Pueblo Affairs Desk

The news from Pueblo, Colorado:
Buying a New Ride
Antibiotic Resistance
Funerals: A Consumer Guide
BUYING A NEW RIDE
In the market for a new car but don’t know where to start? Don’t worry, your friends from the Federal Trade Commission and the Federal Citizen Information Center can help. They’ve put together a handy package of publications with all the ins and outs of getting a good deal on your new ride.

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Posted on January 18, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

BLAME MY MOTHER FOR THE SWEARING THING
Wait: blame
her
father,
Joseph
Francis Mahar,
of Long
Branch,
New Jersey (Grant chilled there).

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Posted on January 18, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

POP CULTURE IS THE OPIATE OF THE MASSES
Imagine a bougainvillea, a lush, plastic lavender. Yes!
Pixels on a plastic screen! Stare deeply into this scentless icon
and forget America.
Forget Rome! FORGET THE ALAMO! Whither Napoleon?!
Might is right, right? Right right right?! Stand at attention, Six Double-Five
Three Two One! The world moves
on a woman’s

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Posted on January 17, 2008