By Jerry Pritikin

The first of a two-part series from the infamous Bleacher Preacher.
In the summer of 1945, when I was eight-years-old, my dad took me to my first ballgame at beautiful Wrigley Field. A short time later, when the Cubs clinched the National League pennant, I asked my dad to take me to the World Series. He told me I was too young, but he made me a promise: He would take me the next time! Needless to say, I am still waiting.
To be honest, I did not think of post-season play for the Cubs this year until the last few days of the season. I have a Moses complex: I fear I’ll never get to the Promised Land. But once the Cubs made the playoffs, I thought this could be the year.
See, a funny thing happened as this season came down to the wire. Many teams went in the wrong direction and, oddly enough, the Cubs were not one of them.

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Posted on October 9, 2007

By Marty Gangler

I really thought the Cubs were going to win this series with the D-Backs. I really did. And then they not only lose, they get swept. It got me to thinking about my Cub fandom. And it occurs to me: maybe it’s like having a teenage son. As you watch the kid grow and make mistakes you just keep hoping he does well. And sometimes you’re just happy to spend time with the kid. even if you know he’s bad at his core. He doesn’t do his fundamental chores correctly – doesn’t cut the lawn right, can’t be counted on to feed the dog, and his room is a dilapidated mess. But he’s still your son.
Well, this year your son was just about to graduate from high school but got his girlfriend pregnant and was expelled for drinking on school grounds. But what are you going to do, turn his back on him? You’d like to, but you can’t. So after a cooling off period, you’ll make a few phone calls and call in a favor with an old client to get him a job working construction and with a little luck he’ll be okay. Until the next time he screws up. And you’ll stick with him just the same. That’s just what it’s like to be a parent – or a fan – of a loser. There’s nothing you can do about it but cope. It is what it is.

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Posted on October 8, 2007

By Eric Emery

Last weekend I traveled to Madison, Wisconsin to experience the Green & Gold Kool-Aid. It’s not quite the same as the Blue & Orange. Let’s break it down:
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Fashion Errors
Blue & Orange: The occasional black belt with brown shirt.
Green & Gold: Man with frosted tips. Different man with mullet.
Advantage: Blue & Orange. Fashion errors less ostentatious. Plus, a real Bears fan doesn’t look at another fan’s belt.
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High Fives
Blue & Orange: Not usually. We’re too busy keeping our hands on our wallets
Green & Gold: Often. Mostly after executing a 3rd-and-short.
Advantage: Blue & Orange. It’s good to have money in the wallet.

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Posted on October 5, 2007

By Eric Emery

Still getting over the severe beating you took in your office pool last week? Guess what, the pro sports bettors are too. A staggering nine of 14 underdogs won. You now need help explaining your gambling losses to your loved ones. As a public service, here are some ideas about how to cope when underdogs rule.
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What To Say: You didn’t lose money this week betting; rather you had to sell your gold Rolex watch to the Goldman family.
Will It Work? Only if you make up the money stealing back your memorabilia to fund efforts to find your ex-wife’s killer.
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What To Say: I’ll make the money up like Ozzie – I’ll stink at work to get a fat contract extension.
Will It Work? Only if your boss is Kenny Williams.
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What To Say: I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t expect the president to be so cold-hearted that he would veto health insurance for our children. I had already cancelled our policies thinking we’d have more money to buy groceries.
Will It Work? Yes. Take a hard line on your kids’ Socialist leanings.

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Posted on October 4, 2007

You’ve heard the song, now see the video! Updated for the playoffs.

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Posted on October 1, 2007

By Marty Gangler

Playoff Update
GAME 2 REVIEW: At least there is no second-guessing in a game with on guessing at all. You don’t have to guess at the Cubs chances, which are not good. Someone needs to tell Diamondbacks that they can’t hit. I suggest telling them soon. Someone should also tell Soriano that he’s being used in the commercials for this series, and that means he’s supposed to get a big hit.
GAME 3 PREVIEW: It all comes down to Rich Hill. Who’d have thunk? Next year is awfully close to being here. When do pitchers and catchers report?
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GAME 1 REVIEW: The Cubs didn’t execute when they had runners in scoring position and it cost them the game. And say what you like about taking Big Z out early, but last time I checked you need to score more than one run to win almost all the time. Asking your pitching staff to shut out the other team, even if it is the woeful D-Backs, is like asking Britney Spears to babysit – both are a recipe for disaster.
Still, has there ever been a playoff game with two bigger second guessing moments? Not bunting with Big Z and pulling him at only 85 pitches. Thank God there is another game today so these questions can only be batted around for a few more hours. I already want to throw up.
GAME 2 PREVIEW: Ted Lilly has stepped up all year and should not disappoint tonight. Ted Lilly fixes things, like losing streaks. Ted Lilly is The Wolf from Pulp Fiction. Ted Lilly is a guy you’d want to babysit your kids. Ted Lilly approved these sentences.
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The Cub Factor
Wait, what is that I hear? Is that the unmistakable sound of Champagne corks popping and cans of Coors light being cracked open or is it the sound of a large construction vehicle backing up making a beeping sound? Maybe it’s a little of both. Sure the Cubs kinda backed up into the playoffs but who the hell cares? Sure they spent way more money than any other team in the NL Central to buy a championship, but who cares? Sure there is no way Alfonso Soriano’s whale of a contract will be worth it in its last four years when he’s hurt and out of baseball, but who cares!? And sure this team should of played much better during the entire season and the roster was a complete mess and Jim Hendry is an idiot and they are too cheap to redo the playing surface and the Brewers choked and Mike Fontenot can’t hit a curve ball and I still hate Jacque Jones and here come the fair weather fans BUT WHO CARES!! The Cubs are 2007 National League Central division champions. So, with this in mind, we here at The Cub Factor would like to help you out. I know, we’ve been helping you out all season long with weekly witty Cub breakdowns and analogies but now it’s the playoffs. And the biggest question to ask yourself during the playoffs is . . .
Where do I watch the games?

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Posted on October 1, 2007