By Steve Rhodes

Once again the Beachwood Mystery Debate Theater team of Tim Willette, Andrew Kingsford and Steve Rhodes gathered at Beachwood HQ for a night of revelry and disgust as the Democratic candidates for president spun their little lies and deployed cute laugh lines written for them by their highly-paid advisors. This debate was carried out mostly in a continual monotone; Mike Gravel was not allowed to participate because he was deemed to have an insufficient chance of emerging as the party’s nominee, as if Bill Richardson, Joe Biden or Chris Dodd will be heading the ticket. Gravel was missed.
Here is a transcript of the proceedings edited for clarity, wit, length and sanity. Please note the late arrival of Mr. Kingsford, and his lame choice of convenience store snackery.
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CO-MODERATOR BRIAN WILLIAMS: Senator Obama, we’ll begin with you. You gave an interview to The New York Times over the weekend pledging in it to be more aggressive, to be tougher in your campaign against your chief rival for the nomination, the leader among Democrats so far, Senator Clinton, who is here next to you tonight.
Specifically, what are the issues where you, Senator Obama, and Senator Clinton have differed, where you think she has sounded or voted like a Republican?
OBAMA: Well, first of all, I think some of this stuff gets overhyped. In fact, I think this has been the most hyped fight since Rocky fought Apollo Creed, although the amazing thing is I’m Rocky in this situation. (Laughter.)
STEVE: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Stop, you’re killing me.

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Posted on October 31, 2007

By Kiljoong Kim

A family of three including a four-year-old child moves from Rogers Park in the city’s Far North Side to Hammond, Indiana; a move from a two-bedroom apartment to a three-bedroom house with a large backyard. The Puerto Rican father and Korean mother do not know exactly know what to expect in a place like Hammond, but they do know that the area will not offer the degree of diversity or access to Lake Michigan as Rogers Park had offered to their four-year-old son. Given the rising cost of rent, however, they decide that their best shot at homeownership is outside of Chicago. Despite crossing county and state lines, though, some would consider their move within proximity of the metropolitan area.
Many researchers and policymakers have emphasized the importance of regionalism for the past couple of decades. Regionalism means to consider Chicago as a metropolitan area beyond its city limits and to include its surrounding counties when it comes to planning and development. But what makes up this larger area?
Increasingly, the answer is Indiana.

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Posted on October 23, 2007

Editor’s Note: Doug Dobmeyer is the spokesperson for the Task Force to Oppose Gambling in Chicago. He sent this along this morning.
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House Hearing on a Chicago Casino
(October 18, 2007, Chicago, IL . . . ) The House Gaming Committee held a six-and-a-half hour hearing on a proposed Chicago casino.
Paul Volpe, Chicago’s Chief Financial Officer, pled the case for Mayor Daley. Volpe claimed that thousands of jobs would be created (1,800 construction and 1,900 casino jobs) in addition to 6,700 jobs at the services that work with the casino. Volpe made it sound fantastic. He did not tell how many of the construction and non-casino jobs would exist anyway.
Volpe asserted the city would only take on a casino if it was “profitable.” The meaning of profitable remained undisclosed all day. He did state that the estimated $800 million license fee would not make the venture profitable. Later he stated that even one dollar was too much. That extreme statement left people feeling Chicago was being arrogant. Later it was thought a private operator might pay $ 2 billion for a license to operate a Chicago casino.

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Posted on October 19, 2007

Letters To The Political Editor

Readers weigh in on Ald. Tom Tunney’s cell phone scandal, the city’s beautiful flowers, and the death of affordable Chicago.
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1. Dear Beachwood Politics:
Tom Tunney should be ashamed of himself for so many reasons.
First, he violated a law. Period. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of that law — and for the record, he supported it in 2005. Alderman Tunney, an elected official, does not get to violate it.
Nor does he get special dispensation to do an end run around the repercussions, but what Alderman Tunney should really be ashamed of is putting the blame on the police in general and Town Hall District Commander Gary Yamashiroya in particular.
As resident of the neighboring 46th Ward, I can attest first hand to the dedication of Commander Yamashiroya and the differences made in this community since he arrived. He has attended community policing and positive loitering events at particularly troublesome spots in his district, and has even been spotted personally patrolling the parks at night to better enforce curfews.

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Posted on October 18, 2007

By The Hizzoner Affairs Desk

Maybe one of the Chicago newspapers ought to bring Mike Royko back from the grave. For every current development of Mayor Richard M. Daley’s reign probably has a corollary to his father’s reign – and thus, a fitting Royko column. (Same with the Cubs.) The University of Chicago Press has some excerpts from For The Love of Mike online, including this one.
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What’s Behind Daley’s Words?
February 16, 1973
By Mike Royko
Several theories have arisen as to what Mayor Daley really meant a few days ago when he said:
“If they don’t like it, they can kiss my ass.”
On the surface, it appeared that the mayor was merely admonishing those who would dare question the royal favors he has bestowed upon his sons, Prince Curly, Prince Larry, and Prince Moe.
But it can be a mistake to accept the superficial meaning of anything the mayor says.

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Posted on October 17, 2007

The Republicans, Episode 6

Once again the Mystery Debate Theater team of Andrew Kingsford, Tim Willette and Steve Rhodes gathered at Beachwood HQ to watch candidates for president debate in order to bring you the news and comedy you’ll need to make a decision in November ’08.
This time it was the Republicans from Dearborn, Michigan, in a debate loosely organized around economic issues.
Tim brought the Red Bull (I finally see the symbolism) while Andrew brought those cute Heineken keg beer cans and ordered Chinese. Being of Australian birth, Andrew ordered in his faux American accent to avoid the otherwise inevitable cross-cultural translation issues. “I’ll be on the phone for three hours and then the wrong order will go to the wrong house,” Andrew explained defensively.
Andrew promptly fell asleep – I think while Fred Thompson was talking – so you’ll notice him disappear from the transcript early on. He also might have been mad because I called him a wanker, like his father before him, who was from the House of Wankers. And then he learned upon exiting Beachwood HQ that his bike had been stolen.
I wonder if that will make him a Republican.
The following transcript has been edited for clarity, space and sanity.

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Posted on October 10, 2007