By J.J. Tindall
PEACE FROG
Blood in the streets the town of Chicago!
PLEASE don’t let
me
interrupt!
Posted on July 31, 2007
Chicagoetry: I Want To Lick Tequila Off Your Thighs
By J.J. Tindall
I WANT TO LICK TEQUILA OFF YOUR THIGHS
Mourning Dove,
Town Crier,
Awaken to your
Power.
Sometimes all you do
Is moan
Posted on July 30, 2007
Chicagoetry: My Dad Was A Bong-Head In College
By J.J. Tindall
MY DAD WAS A BONG-HEAD IN COLLEGE
“Live Rust.” That
was the giveaway:
I found his records
In the barn,
And I began to understand more deeply
My mother’s
Posted on July 27, 2007
Ramen Review #3: Myojo Ippei-Chan Japanese Style Soup: Soy Sauce Flavor
By Bethany Lankin
The packaging reminded me of the old movie gag where the protagonist is introduced to a foreign diplomat and her translator. The diplomat prattles on for several minutes in some remote language and her translator finally says “She say, hello.”
I don’t understand Chinese, but I suspect it doesn’t take 41 Asian logograms to communicate the only English words on the package: “Soy Sauce Flavor” and “Ippei-Chan Japanese style soup noodles.”
Posted on July 26, 2007
Chicagoetry: Let Lindsay Lohan Die
By J.J. Tindall
LET LINDSAY LOHAN DIE
We all
do blow,
no? Just
a little, at
City Hall, in the Newsroom, at
Foote Cone and
Posted on July 25, 2007
Open Letter
Dear Fellow Parents Planning Birthday Parties:
For several years, my younger daughter has been invited annually to a friend’s birthday party at The Four Seasons. The one on Chicago’s Magnificent Mile, just to be clear. One year the invitation was an inscribed blue ball, approximately one foot in diameter, with the stamps slapped right on it. I still can’t believe the post office delivered it. They must have mistaken it for junk mail, the only thing that reliably makes it to our mailbox. Of course, the ball didn’t fit in the mailbox; we found it on the front steps.
Anyway, every year a big group of giggling girls takes over the hotel’s restaurant before moving on to the Four Seasons pool, eventually hopping into Gold Coast horse carriages and returning for a slumber party in a Four Seasons suite. The contents of the goody bag are inevitably worth more than my iPod mini and all the music downloaded onto it.
Posted on July 24, 2007
Chicagoetry: Song of My Cell Phone
By J.J. Tindall
SONG OF MY CELL PHONE
I celebrate My cell phone,
Which sings To me, assuming
All that I assume, propagating the infernal productions
Of my
Presumption. Like: mine flops out Like a Star Trek™ Communicator!
Posted on July 23, 2007
Empire!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Rikki-Lee Travolta
Public Relations Manager
Empire Today
E-Mail: rtravolta@empiretoday.com
Empire Today’s Icon Character “Empire Man” Celebrates 30th Anniversary
Introduced in 1977, the Empire Man has spawned a line of bobbleheads and made the Empire Today phone number one of the most recognized in the country
NORTHLAKE, IL- Empire Today, LLC (Empire Today, www.empiretoday.com) is proud to announce that 2007 marks the 30th anniversary of the introduction of its iconic television pitchman “The Empire Man.”
Part blue-collar superhero and part pure entertainment, The Empire Man has come to represent great value, world-class customer care, and next day installation to generations of Home Furnishing and Home Improvement consumers.
Posted on July 19, 2007
Chicagoetry: Get The Lions
By J.J. Tindall
GET THE LIONS
Get the lions
And tigers
From Lincoln
Park Zoo,
Posted on July 18, 2007
Ramen Review #2: Dr. McDougall’s Baked Not Fried
By Bethany Lankin
The first day I declined lunch in my corporate cafeteria my friends saw the ramen on my desk and laughed. They laughed at it the second day. After two weeks, they began giving me impromptu health lectures at the fax machine. When I told them how the market was flooded these days with low sodium, low-fat healthy ramen, the lectures stopped. A week later I developed a debilitating three-day headache and friends asked if I was actually eating any of that low sodium, low-fat healthy ramen. Of course, I was not. The next day I decided to try one of those healthy ramen meals, and I chose Dr. McDougall’s baked not fried ramen. Because as far as Asian cuisine is concerned, with a name like McDougall’s, it has to be good.
Posted on July 17, 2007