Chicago -
By Eric Emery
What a great week of NFL action! Wow! I was on the edge of my seat!
Or I would have been had the words “anniversary,” “sequestered”, and “north” not intersected last weekend. Much like my wife, Northern Wisconsin knows nothing of NFL Sunday Ticket.
Here, though, is what I think happened:
Posted on October 31, 2006
By Eric Emery
Loyal readers of The Beachwood Reporter understand two things: Our government feeds us crap and our local print media turns the crap into “crap-aid”. For the loyal readers of the Beachwood, this does not need to be pointed out. This just proves some things need not be pointed out. Yet in the world of sports radio (and print media), the obvious becomes so commonplace that we all become stupid in the process.
We all have coping mechanisms. The Reporter news staff copes by trudging through the slop in Chicago’s print media, with the hope of bringing truth to light. When it comes to sports radio, I take the opposite view – I ignore it.
Like an alcoholic eager to show he has solved his problem by going to bars and not drinking, I find myself slowly pulling into the sports radio stupidity to prove I’m immune to it. So on my way home from work, I’ve been listening to Steve Dahl lately.
Posted on October 25, 2006
By Eric Emery
Let’s review.
Overrated: Reading a column whose author picks games correctly – as opposed to reading this column. Last Week: 0-4. Overall: 9-29-2. Let’s face it: People who are always right are annoying. Can I get an Amen?
Underrated: Mute button for Pink’s “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night,” otherwise known as “That crappy new song before Sunday Night Football that was ripped off from Joan Jett.”
Posted on October 25, 2006
By Eric Emery
Perhaps the Kool-Aid Nation should wait for the results against the Patriots, Jets, and Giants before engaging in all this Super Bowl talk. The Nation should know better; it is here in Chicago where we’ve pioneered wishing for the best, but expecting the worst. Everybody seems to want the Bears to go 242-0. I’m not sure, but I think I heard Tony Kornheiser say on Monday night, “If Lovie Smith was hired to cure cancer, how fast would he do it?”
Posted on October 19, 2006
By Eric Emery
Let me beg to differ: That Monday night game was not about the Bears. It was about the Cardinals. The Cardinals. If my team trailed the Cardinals by 20 points late in the third quarter, I expect them to rally. Why? Because it’s the Cardinals.
Posted on October 19, 2006
By The Beachwood Baseball Affairs Desk
This is called The [Piniella] Papers but it might as well have been called The Same Old Cubs. Or, just to get out ahead of the signs we’ll be seeing at Wrigley Field in two years, In Lou We Boo.
“It’s like Hendry & the Tribune brass are genetically imprinted to make the wrong choices at the wrong time.” Beachwood baseball affairs editor Don Jacobson says. “Piniella will be a disaster. And they’re taking him even though the perfect candidate, Girardi, ‘interviewed well.’ It’s like, what more can you do to make hiring Girardi obvious? Piniella? I’ll mark down April 20, when the Cubs are off to a 5-11 start, when the first blow-up with a reporter happens. Lou’s not exactly tolerant of free and open inquiry. At least there won’t be same kind of expectations on him as there were on Baker. Still, dinosaurs are dinosaurs, whatever their particular species.
Posted on October 17, 2006
By Eric Emery
Will the Bears make it to the Super Bowl? Will the Bears adopt a Super Bowl theme song? Will we have to endure endless nostaligc ramblings about Mike Ditka and the punky QB? Of course. But just like the sure-to-be-revived SNL SuperFans skit, just because we know it’s coming doesn’t mean we have to like it.
Posted on October 14, 2006
By Eric Emery
Let’s take stock of the first quarter of the season. Which teams are paying dividends for their fans? Which team is Jim Cramer yelling at you to sell? Which team dies before going to prison? Here are the first quarter results.
Posted on October 12, 2006
By Eric Emery
Welcome to the big time, Kool-Aid Nation. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Posted on October 4, 2006
By Eric Emery
There is a battle between good and evil going on. When the Jets lost last week, for example, Chicagoans cheered. New York is evil, and we Chicagoans enjoy watching them suffer. On the other hand, both New York teams making the baseball playoffs was enough to make Chicago baseball fans question – again – the existence of of good (and God) itself. Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Satan. Rooting for Satan has its benefits, since you do start out with an edge and he’s pretty good against the spread. Clearly, my Christian God still holds a seat at His table, since my record this week isn’t much better than usual (2-4). Grace be to God. If there was a God, the Packers score from the 1-yard line late to hit the over.
Talking about the battle between good and evil, last week on football Sunday, CBS teased us with promises of Condi’s humanity, and this week Bob Woodward’s interview showed her in a different light.
Posted on October 4, 2006
