Chicago -
By Edward McClelland
“Mount Prospect Chamber.”
“Hi. I’m thinking of looking for a place to live in Mount Prospect, and I’m trying to find out how high the mountain is and whether it interferes with TV or radio reception.”
“The mountain is about . . . 400 inches high.”
“Oh. I thought Mount Prospect was named after a mountain.”
“We are in Mount Prospect, but there is no mountain.”
*
Posted on March 28, 2006
By Melinda Fries
1. Dan Gleason’s Top 42,000 Films
2. Medical History of the Presidents of the United States
3. Field Trip Factory: 60622
Posted on March 25, 2006
By Timothy Inklebarger
“You can’t just let nature run wild.”
This quote by former Alaska Gov. Walter J. Hickel popped into my head last week when I spotted a raccoon trotting along the rooftops in Wicker Park. Hickel made the comment to reporters in 1993 after the state launched a controversial program allowing hunters to shoot wolves from helicopters. He argued that the big bad wolves were procreating too quickly and killing moose and caribou faster than the human predators could. And shooting at stuff from a few hundred feet in the air just sounded like a mess of fun.
Posted on March 25, 2006
Date: March 16, 2006
From: Wicker Park
To: Roscoe Village
The Cab: Intimidating full shield of bulletproof glass created vaguely aquarium-esque feel. Very clean, but with a slightly suspicious fabric-softener-on-crack smell.
The Driver: A cipher due in large part to the aforementioned protective screen. All we know for now is that he listens to sports radio at an inoffensive volume and takes an extremely conservative approach toward opening his safety panel to accept payment.
The Driving: Efficient if overly aggressive for the time of night and traffic conditions. Another clue to our driver’s internal life is that he never met a pedal that he did not wish to put to the metal. In fact, your reviewer was hard-pressed to take legible notes due to the sometimes violent acceleration, deceleration and centrifugal forces invoked by rapid lane changes. Perhaps this man is a retired rally driver, dreaming of one final glorious dash from Paris to Dakar in a modified Land Rover. And while I don’t dispute the romance of this dream, I can’t help but note with some concern the swathe of death and destruction that event annually carves across northern Africa.
Overall rating: 2.5 extended arms
– Natasha Julius
Posted on March 24, 2006
Date: March 16, 2006
From: Lakeview
To: Wicker Park
The Cab: Clean enough to belie the age of the vehicle. One hundred percent of the stitching on the seats was intact and slightly shiny, giving it the look of your grandmother’s classic Oldsmobile that never leaves the insulated bubble of her Florida garage. Backseat seams appeared to have been vacuumed recently, so complete was the lack of dust. The radio was kept at an acceptable level for the seminal ZZ Top classic “Sharp-Dressed Man” (that is to say, extremely quiet), although it did creep into intrusive noisiness once jangly, over-produced hip hop came on.
The Driver: Spent the entire ride talking on his cell phone, although to his credit using a hands-free device and admirably hushed tones. Seemed way too young to put that much effort into the care and maintenance of his vehicle; maybe this actually is his grandmother’s classic ride.
The Driving: Driver showed creativity in using side street to avoid traffic lights and congestion. Clearly knew the route and didn’t need any reminding. My companion felt the speed was a tad excessive, particularly on the smaller roads. I did not share this concern as the driver clearly appreciated the nuances of the steering wheel.
Overall rating: 3.5 extended arms
– Natasha Julius
Posted on March 24, 2006
By Marilyn Ferdinand
Slobodan Milosevic was poisoned. I firmly believe this to be true. There is simply no way for me, as a film geek, to think otherwise. Every film that I have seen from the Balkans has insidious and ludicrous murder as the final end to its insidious and ludicrous characters.
Posted on March 16, 2006
Published As Events Warrant
“A port in the hand is worth six in the bush.”
People don’t need to worry about security, unless of course they’re holding the king of clubs. East opens with a bid of six ports. South passes. West is enthusiastic until North threatens a veto. East holds steady with the six while South tries to trump North by introducing a law to block the bid. West folds. No one remembers how to score, so this rubber is called a draw.
Posted on March 9, 2006
Posted on March 9, 2006
Posted on March 9, 2006
When Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wanted to strike back at the Western European nations where offensive cartoons about Muhammad were published, he said newspapers in Muslim countries should publish offensive cartoons about the Holocaust.
Ahmadinejad’s proposal was baffling.
What’s the connection? How does insulting Jews equate with the publication of the anti-Muhammad cartoons?
Posted on March 6, 2006
