Chicago - Sep. 25, 2022
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Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
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Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
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1. Why is the sky blue? Sunlight collides with air, scatters blue wavelengths1. At sunset, we see red and orange colours because the blue light has been scattered out and away from the line of sight2.

2. What happens when we die? Opinions vary. "God is going to give us new bodies, better than the ones we have now," Pat Robertson says. "We are not going to be disembodied spirits. Those who believe in Jesus are going to have bodies just like the resurrection body of Jesus . . . a glorious, wonderful body - and they will be with Him forever in glory. Those who have not lived for Him will be in a place of torment and punishment3. On the other hand, Frykitty says, "Most of me suspects we are just done4." Brendan Genius once begged to differ: "That answer annoys me all the time. You cannot be nothing. People find this concept very hard to grasp and about 90% of people I talk to about this don't understand me." But now he's lost his faith5. Frank Zappa says, "Dust6." That answer annoys Barney Gumble all the time. "When we die there's going to be a planet for the French, a planet for the Chinese, and we'll all be a lot happier," Gumble says7. Gumble is a drunk.

3. Is the home office deduction really a red flag that increases your chances of being audited? As a general rule, you should never shy away from taking a deduction you are legally entitled to8. But even though the rules have been loosened a bit, taking this deduction is still a red flag for an Internal Revenue Service audit9. But the truth is, owning your own business is the RED FLAG10.

4. What's wrong with me? It could be a lot of things. Yur butt11. Possible multiple sclerosis12. You're not beautiful13.

5. What is The Beachwood Reporter? It's all that - and more14.


MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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