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Lemme Get A Bite Of That
By Drew Adamek
My brother and I are tight. Except for a weird hallucinogenic drug phase I went through in the 80s, we've always been best friends. We grew up in the same room - sharing a bunk bed in a 6-by-6 space, until I was a teenager.
Cramped circumstances like that dictate two choices: 1) become lifelong, inseparable pals or 2) become mortal enemies. We choose option 1.
As adults, getting together with my brother is an absolute teenage boy laugh riot; all dick jokes, goofy innuendos and junk food all the time. We bullshit constantly and never tire of hanging out.
But he absolutely cannot abide one thing that I do: I constantly and incessantly ask him for a bite of whatever he is eating. The most irritating, grating sentence in the world for my brother is, "Hey, lemme get a bite of that."
I don't know why I do it; maybe it's a residual reaction to always sharing as kids, or perhaps it's an instinctual alpha male domination thing (I am older by four years). He claims I am just too damn cheap to buy my own. Whatever it is that drives me to bogart my brother's stuff, it drives my brother absolutely batty.
When I die, and he is standing over my grave, he will finally be able to say, "No motherfucker, you cannot have a bite."
Here, then, are things I have asked my brother for a bite of:
Continue reading "Lemme Get A Bite Of That" »Posted on March 18, 2010
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