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Lemme Get A Bite Of ThatBy Drew AdamekMy brother and I are tight. Except for a weird hallucinogenic drug phase I went through in the 80s, we've always been best friends. We grew up in the same room - sharing a bunk bed in a 6-by-6 space, until I was a teenager. Cramped circumstances like that dictate two choices: 1) become lifelong, inseparable pals or 2) become mortal enemies. We choose option 1. As adults, getting together with my brother is an absolute teenage boy laugh riot; all dick jokes, goofy innuendos and junk food all the time. We bullshit constantly and never tire of hanging out. But he absolutely cannot abide one thing that I do: I constantly and incessantly ask him for a bite of whatever he is eating. The most irritating, grating sentence in the world for my brother is, "Hey, lemme get a bite of that." I don't know why I do it; maybe it's a residual reaction to always sharing as kids, or perhaps it's an instinctual alpha male domination thing (I am older by four years). He claims I am just too damn cheap to buy my own. Whatever it is that drives me to bogart my brother's stuff, it drives my brother absolutely batty. When I die, and he is standing over my grave, he will finally be able to say, "No motherfucker, you cannot have a bite." Here, then, are things I have asked my brother for a bite of: Continue reading "Lemme Get A Bite Of That" »Posted on March 18, 2010
Lemme Get A Bite Of ThatBy Drew AdamekA twisted tale of brotherly love.Posted on March 18, 2010 Jobs For The Zombie ApocalypseBy Drew AdamekAn advanced degree in European film studies or Social Media Marketing isn't going to do me any good when the dead rise from their graves to feed upon the living.Posted on March 17, 2010 The Worst Jobs I've Ever HadBy Drew AdamekI've had jobs that left me scared for my life, angry at an unfair God and questioning whether humanity shouldn't just die in a nuclear holocaust. And for $4.15 an hour at thatPosted on March 16, 2010 Chicagoetry: Carl Sandburg and Marilyn MonroeBy J.J. TindallGods often die this way.Posted on March 15, 2010 United #7002 / 6476 / 481By Mike LuceThere was a rumor of "snack boxes" on #481 but they never materialized. Either that or I slept through them.Posted on March 11, 2010 Life's Little VictoriesBy Drew AdamekNot asking for alot.Posted on March 12, 2010 A List Of Reader Comments To Drew's ListsBy Drew AdamekMy father, my wife, my brother and the District of Columbia weigh in.Posted on March 10, 2010 Delta #1972By Mike LuceMy attendant didn't bat an eye when I paid for my bourbon-and-diet with a United Visa card.Posted on March 8, 2010 Why I'm Glad I Don't Live In D.C. AnymoreBy Drew AdamekFor starters, Manhattan prices for Rolling Meadows charm.Posted on March 5, 2010 Why Milwaukee RulesBy Drew AdamekBands, drunks, sausages.Posted on March 4, 2010 Goodbye, American Gothic PeopleBy Steve RhodesA mesmerizing work moves on.Posted on March 3, 2010 Cities I've Slept InBy Drew AdamekI was afraid the boss was gonna make me pay for the room!Posted on March 2, 2010 EPA's Secret Chocolate Documents Revealed!By Steve YaccinoThree years later, our FOIA request is fulfilled - except the one thing we wanted to know most.Posted on March 1, 2010 Their ChicagoBy Drew AdamekWhat other people talk about when they talk about Chicago.Posted on February 26, 2010 Southwest #1189By Mike LuceCheap red wine and non-honey roasted peanuts.Posted on February 24, 2010 Pancakes With Miss IllinoisBy The Beachwood Pancake Affairs DeskA 20-mile high stack of charity flapjacks.Posted on February 23, 2010 Things I Miss About ChicagoBy Drew AdamekBlaming the CTA and bathing at Harold Washington Library.Posted on February 22, 2010 Work Weirdos: A ListBy Drew AdamekMr. Freeze, The Storm God and Me.Posted on February 19, 2010 Shit My Dad SaysBy Drew AdamekSitcom this.Posted on February 17, 2010 |
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