Chicago - Nov. 18, 2019
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood PP&T
Our monthly PP&T archive.
Chicagoetry
Rhymes for the Times.
Beachwood Bookmarks
So You've Decided To Be Evil
Vintage Beer Signs
Easy Bar Tricks
Best of Craigslist
Wacky Packages
Chicagology
Taquitos Snack Food Reviews
How Products Are Made
Everyday Mysteries
Chicago Zombie
FAIL
Texts From Last Night
Fuck My Life
Awkward Family Photos
QuackWatch
Alcademics
Lamebook
Ultra Local Geography
Uncyclopedia
Best Pinball Machine Ever
Land of Sky Beer Waters
Calumet 412
Chicago Patterns
Vince Michael's Time Tells
Renegades of Funk Chicago
History vs. Hollywood

If I Was Bill Gates . . .

By Steve Rhodes

I saw this on Facebook and got to thinking . . .

Here's what I would do if I was Bill Gates:

* Make Taco Tuesdays on Wednesdays, too.

* Buy a non-Internet jukebox for ever bar in America.

* A Beachwood Inn on every corner, with animatronic Bob bartenders.

* Buy every Coldplay, Nickelback and Hootie record in existence and destroy them. He wakes up every day and doesn't do this.

Continue reading "If I Was Bill Gates . . . " »
Posted on November 18, 2019
Permalink


Taxicab Journals

Cab #1555

I kept desperately pushing on that sound icon on the TV screen and nothing.
Continue reading "Cab #1555" »
Posted on January 6, 2016
Open Letter

Open Letter

Dear Asses Of Chicago Commuters:
This crowding reduction plan isn't working at all for your human.
Continue reading "Open Letter" »
Posted on January 29, 2013
Life At Work

I Am A Retail Warrior: Throw The Dog A Birthday Bone!

By Jane Harper
At that point, I was kind of hoping the dog was back at home chewing up her hand-sewn Italian leather shoes.
Continue reading "I Am A Retail Warrior: Throw The Dog A Birthday Bone!" »
Posted on October 19, 2015

If I Was Bill Gates . . .

By Steve Rhodes
I'd get rid of those sweaters, for starters.

Posted on November 18, 2019

Exclusive! An Inside Look At The World's Largest Starbucks

Another Beachwood Special Report
Featuring the Chicago Pour Over, the Chicago Handshake and the Madigan Grande.

Posted on November 13, 2019

Recall! Nature's Rancher Organic Ground Beef

By The U.S. Department of Agriculture Food Safety and Inspection Service
Shipped to five states including Illinois.

Posted on November 8, 2019

The Chicago Railroad Fair Of 1948

By Toy Man Television
The high water mark for passenger railroads.

Posted on November 6, 2019

Why Does Pizza Taste So Good?

By Jeffrey Miller/The Conversation
The answer: Science!

Posted on October 31, 2019

Industrial Lubricants Market Booming

By MarketsandMarkets
The major driving factors of the industrial lubricants market are massive industrialization, the increasing disposable income, and rapid urbanization in emerging countries.

Posted on October 28, 2019

Not All Candy Is Candy - At Least For Tax Purposes

By Hayes Holderness/The Conversation
In Illinois, for example, locals pay a higher state sales tax rate - 6.25% versus 1% - on Reese's, gummi worms and Hershey's milk chocolate bars than on Twix, Twizzlers and Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme bars.

Posted on October 25, 2019

Meet The Wisconsin (And Illinois) Doctors Who Uncovered The Vaping Illness Outbreak

By Lauren Weber/Kaiser Health News
The epidemic has prompted outrage about federal oversight of vaping, but there is also a local public health success story to be told. Doctors and regional officials in Wisconsin, Illinois and elsewhere pieced together that this mysterious illness was much larger than it appeared.

Posted on October 23, 2019

Scott Buckner's Tiny Vistas

One of our favorite correspondents has taken up watercolors - and he's pretty good!

Posted on October 21, 2019

Recall! "Chicago's Favorite" Gyros Slices

By The U.S. Department of Agriculture Food Safety and Inspection Service
Several shipments from Ontario to Illinois and other states may be contaminated with E. coli.

Posted on October 17, 2019

Renaming Lake Shore Drive

Another Beachwood Special Report
We have some ideas.

Posted on October 22, 2019

Recall! Kenosha Beef

By The U.S. Department of Agriculture Food Safety and Inspection Service
An undetermined amount of seasoned beef products that may be contaminated with extraneous materials, specifically metal shavings.

Posted on October 15, 2019

Three STDs Reach All-Time Highs In The U.S.

Rates have risen for five consecutive years.

Posted on October 12, 2019

Doomsday Chicago 2019

'Supermoto Hooligans Really Threw It Down This Time'
Stunt riders came - in costume - from all over the U.S.

Posted on October 11, 2019

MUSIC - Verböten.
TV - The Berlin Tunnel TV Wars.
POLITICS - Loyola's Predatory Lending Bill.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Ryan Pace's Major Malfunction.

BOOKS - Blow Your Mind.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Exclusive! Inside That Huge New Starbucks.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!